Friday, December 29, 2017

A Christmas lifehack

Wait until the post-Christmas clearance sale to buy that sweet mug you really want from Starbucks.

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

I like 'em round and big.

My biggest Christmas revelation: apparently I've been given a second nickname by certain family members. It's a bit of a head scratcher because, while I certainly appreciate a large posterior - scout's honor! - I'm decidedly a breast man. Weird.

Monday, December 25, 2017

Get behind me, Santa!

Micah: 0, Winter weight: 1

MILF on the Shelf: Day 25

You got me the greatest gift of all: pancakes with crispy edges. Thanks, MILF! Merry Christmas!

I like carols you've never even heard of.

I've always enjoyed carols' third and fourth verses, which tend to get less mainstream airplay. Does that make me a Christmas hipster?

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Aaaaaaaaand Santa!


Why did no one ever tell me that Dave Foley of the Kids in the Hall (and NewsRadio!) once put a Christmas special? I just found out about Dave Foley's The True Meaning of Christmas Specials today when the KITH Facebook page posted an article about it. I gave it a watch and it's funny! And if you've got a hankering to see some KITH and SCTV alums, Mike Myers, and a bunch of other notable Canucks, it's essential viewing.

MILF on the Shelf: Day 24

You sit on a throne of lies, MILF.

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Do not put this on your flapjacks.

Heads up, millenials. Cracker Barrel has gotten into the hipster vinyl game *and* they have exclusive gimmicks.

MILF on the Shelf: Day 21

Um, I don't think that's going to sit well, MILF.

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

I'm hung.

No self-respecting southerner uses instant grits *or* hangs an evergreen wreath. After years of wanting one, I finally have a magnolia wreath to greet all the merrymakers that show up at my doorstep. My friend Suzanne made it for me and only asked for a bottle of prosecco. (A self-respecting southerner would've requested a bottle of Old Crow.)

MILF on the Shelf: Day 20

You found last year's tannenbaum, MILF! Hmmm. It's going to take a *lot* of love to bring that thing back.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Put a candy cane in that appletini.

I commemorate the holiday season each year by purchasing a new ornament. A few weeks ago I was perusing World of Mirth's wares when I saw... a Zach Braff Christmas ornament. Why does this exist?! Who would sell such a thing, let alone make it? At once I knew that it had to be this year's ornament. Now I just wish there was one of Brown Bear I could hang up next to it.

MILF on the Shelf: Day 17

Live long and phone home, MILF!

Saturday, December 16, 2017

MILF on the Shelf: Day 16

That ramen looks like it would pair well with an eggnog-asaki, MILF.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Sunday, December 10, 2017

MILF on the Shelf: Day 10

Thanks for the W, MILF!

It's electric. Boogie woogie woogie!

I'd say that the Tacky Light Run is my favorite race of the year except a) due to the throngs of gawkers (myself included) it's impossible to run the thing, and b) it's not really a race. Still, I look forward to this more than any other "running" event. And this year it snowed!

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Friday, December 8, 2017

Thursday, December 7, 2017

MILF on the Shelf: Day 7

Hoagies & grinders, hoagies & grinders. Navy beans, navy beans. Meatloaf sandwich!

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Monday, December 4, 2017

MILF on the Shelf: Day 4

You there, MILF! Fill it up with petroleum distillate and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste!

Sunday, December 3, 2017

MILF on the Shelf: Day 3

Knocking back a Christmas Morning coffee stout, eh, MILF? How seasonally appropriate. Down the hatch!

Friday, December 1, 2017

MILF on the Shelf: Day 1

I was wondering if you were going to pop up! (That's what she said.)